Let’s talk about workaholism—and not in that cute “I’m just really dedicated” way we’ve all heard a thousand times. No, I’m talking about the full-blown, all-consuming hustle that’s more about numbing out and chasing perfection than it is about loving what you do. If that sounds familiar, buckle up, because we’re about to get real.
For years, I used work to numb myself. It wasn’t just about productivity or success—it was about buffering my perfectionism and proving my worth, over and over again. Every task I checked off the list, every project I completed, felt like validation that I was enough. Because if I wasn’t busy, if I wasn’t working, then what was I? Well, let me tell you what I was–I was unhealthy and burned out chasing some false sense of security that overworking gave me.
The Hustle Was My Drug
For the longest time, I thought hustle was my superpower. The busier I was, the more valuable I felt. Work became my drug of choice—it was how I coped with stress, how I distracted myself from the uncomfortable stuff I didn’t want to deal with. When things felt out of control, I leaned into work, because that was something I could manage. It gave me a sense of purpose, even if that purpose was just about avoiding the bigger issues I wasn’t ready to face.
But the truth? I was using work to avoid dealing with myself. I was chasing perfectionism, constantly feeling like I had something to prove. I thought if I just worked hard enough, long enough, I’d eventually reach that elusive place where I’d finally feel worthy. Spoiler alert: that place doesn’t exist. No amount of overwork, overachievement, or late nights will ever fill the hole that’s created when your worth is tied to your productivity.
Work as a Numbing Mechanism
Here’s what I’ve learned: workaholism isn’t about loving your job. It’s about using work to numb your emotions, your fears, and your imperfections. For me, it was a way to buffer against the discomfort of feeling like I wasn’t enough unless I was constantly doing. When I felt overwhelmed, I worked. When I felt anxious, I worked. When I didn’t know how to sit with my feelings of inadequacy, I buried myself in work.
Because let’s face it—when you’re running yourself ragged in the name of productivity, you don’t have time to feel all the messy emotions that come with being human. Work became my escape. And sure, I was successful. I built a business, I checked all the boxes, and from the outside, everything looked amazing. But on the inside, I was exhausted and unfulfilled.
Perfectionism and Proving My Worth
Perfectionism was the driving force behind my workaholism. I was terrified of being seen as anything less than perfect—in my business, my life, and everything I did. If I could just work hard enough, achieve enough, and keep it all together, then maybe I’d finally be enough in my own eyes.
But here’s the thing about perfectionism: it’s a lie. It tells you that if you just do more, be more, you’ll be worthy. But the more you chase it, the more it slips through your fingers. You’ll never reach “perfect,” because it doesn’t exist. And the more you tie your worth to your work, the further you get from the things that truly matter—your health, your relationships, your happiness.
The Wake-Up Call: Realizing I Had Nothing Left to Prove
My wake-up call came when I hit a wall. I realized that no matter how hard I worked, how much I achieved, it was never going to be enough. I was always going to find another goal, another mountain to climb, because I was using those achievements to fill a void that couldn’t be filled by work. I finally had to ask myself: What am I really trying to prove?
And more importantly: Who am I trying to prove it to?
That’s when it hit me: I didn’t need to prove anything to anyone. Not to the world, not to my clients, not to my family, not to myself. My worth wasn’t tied to how much I accomplished, how perfect I could be, or how many hours I put in. I was already enough, just as I was.
Breaking the Cycle: Finding Joy and Balance
Once I realized that work was no longer my worth, I had to make some serious changes. I had to learn how to let go of the hustle mentality and embrace rest and joy. I had to stop numbing out with work and start getting comfortable with the idea of just being.
That meant slowing down, setting boundaries, and allowing myself to have a life outside of work. It meant giving myself permission to take breaks, to say no, and to stop tying my self-worth to my productivity. And let me tell you, that was hard. When you’ve spent your whole life equating busyness with value, it’s tough to break the habit.
But you know what? It’s been the most liberating thing I’ve ever done. Because now, instead of running on empty, I’m living a life filled with balance and joy. I’m still ambitious, still driven, but I’m no longer using work as a way to numb myself. I’ve learned that my worth isn’t something I need to earn—it’s something I already have, no matter how much I accomplish or how imperfect I am.
Your Worth Is Not Tied to Your Work
So, if you’re someone who’s caught in the cycle of workaholism, feeling like you always need to be doing more, achieving more, proving your worth through your hustle, let me be the one to tell you: You are enough. Right now, as you are. You don’t need to work yourself into the ground to be worthy. You don’t need to prove anything to anyone.
It’s time to let go of the hustle and start embracing rest, balance, and joy. Because life isn’t about how much you can accomplish—it’s about how fully you can live. And you can’t live fully when you’re constantly running on empty.
