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The Joy of Quitting

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Yes, you read that blog title right. Sometimes it is a JOY to quit things–to just decide you will not do some things in your life anymore. Whether it’s things on your to-do list or your bucket list or maybe it’s some of your business services or social media–quitting can feel great. And oh my yes, don’t we want to quit social media sometimes?! Being a part of too many things is exhausting. I so relate to the quote above. It’s funny but for me, it’s also very true!

There are many things that most of us need to quit. And believe it or not, sometimes it’s relationships…the toxic and draining ones that only take and don’t ever fill you back up. Or maybe even ones that aren’t really taking anything from you much, but you feel guilty for not being able to give them more time. Anything that brings guilt needs to be reconsidered. And then there are all those hobbies and exercise classes and social groups and bible studies and charity boards and the PTA. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that you shouldn’t be an advocate, a philanthropist, a friend or be spiritual or religious. I am just saying that it’s time to take a look at the particular groups or activities you are currently in and see if they are still the best fit for you.

But I have to tell you, quitting is one of the hardest things for me at times. It is often harder than saying no to new opportunities. As kids we were taught not to quit, right? You’ve heard all the sayings…”Don’t be a quitter”. “Winners never quit, and quitters never win”. But you know what? That is a myth, and a dangerous one at that. It is often the reason that we become overloaded, stressed out and unhappy. Because we keep adding new things, exciting things, things that seem like they will make our life better, but we don’t quit things to make room for the new. So we just cram it all in there like our days are going to magically become longer than 24 hours if we just keep stuffing more into them. Surely they will have to stretch like our stomachs do when we keep cramming food in, right? Ha! But unfortunately, our days never do.

I have learned that I have a lot of core beliefs from childhood, from my parents, from teachers, from society that are not healthy for me. It’s not that people didn’t have the best intentions when they were teaching me these ideas, it’s just that they are outdated thoughts. They don’t fit my grown up life or my goals or my health plans. They are beliefs that have become obsolete, but for some reason, we don’t get new beliefs when they stop working for us like we get newer models of cars, TVs, phones and computers. Think about it, how effective would we be if we were still using a phone or computer from 1970 or 80? Not very, right? And how many of us would look our best if we are 45 and still dressing like we are 16 or 20. Probably not many of  us. But we will continue trying to make beliefs, ideas and life lessons from our childhood or youth fit where we are today. That just doesn’t make any sense.

Not being about to quit is one of these outdated rules for me. It no longer serves me well as a core belief. I think that is true for many people including children today. When we were told not to quit, we didn’t have a schedule like a high powered CEO at age 10. But children today are expected to act and work like an adult, keep a schedule that would exhaust any grown up and they have so many choices of activities it makes their heads spin, but we still associate failure or embarrassment with quitting. So they just stay over-loaded or we let them quit, but shame them for it. Why? Why not let our kids, or us for that matter, sample something–try it on for size–and see if they/we like it? And if we don’t, then why not quit and keep looking until we find the right sport or interest or school or career or relationships that are a good fit?

As I continue on my quest this year for my 2 resolutions…1) finding more joy and 2) loving myself more, I am realizing more than ever that there are a lot of things I need to quit to be happy and healthy. And this doesn’t mean I will quit being a consultant or a designer or a mom or a wife, but there are parts of each of those things that I need to quit if I want to be the best version of me. And it doesn’t mean I will quit every group I am in or quit eating, but there are some things in my life and diet that definitely need to go if I want to feel good.

I love how Arianna Huffington says in her book Thrive that she decided just to take a bunch of pressure off of herself by simply striking a ton of things off her bucket list that she really didn’t need or want to do. She realized if they were that important to her, she would have already done them by now. What can you wipe off yours? There are several things that I am striking from my bucket list this year and a ton of things off my to-do list, and I feel great about it!

I have to remind myself that some things run their course in life and that’s ok. Some relationships come to an end and that doesn’t necessarily mean they were a failure, they just ran their course.  Some careers or business services had a great run but now it’s time to do something different with your time and resources. That’s not a bad thing. In fact its a good thing. Some exercise routines or hobbies you have tried to make stick for years need to go. They aren’t right for you or you’d be a pro at them by now.

I think back to when some of my favorite TV shows (Sex in the City, Castle, Downton Abbey) went off the air and how sad I was. But it was always better for them to go out on a high note leaving me with fond memories instead of waiting until the last possible minute, far past their prime, when they really left a bad taste in everyone’s mouth or mind. So what in your life or your business is like that? What are you tired of? What has run it’s course? What do you find yourself dreading every time you start to do it? What needs to end so you can make room for new, exciting and better offerings to your family, your friends or your customers? What should go so you can create things that are more in line with the season of life you are in right now? Again, my list is pretty long and it will take courage and guts to make changes. That’s true for us all, even when we know it’s the right thing to do, it’s hard to change.

I’m here to tell you, there is a lot freedom and a lot of JOY in quitting. Scary? Yes! Worth it? Absolutely.

If you need help deciding, read this great little book by Seth Godin called The Dip, when to quit and when to stick.  It even tells you that there are some things you should quit and quit fast! Don’t linger. And I agree. Every day you wait you are keeping yourself from more joy. And the good news is most things aren’t absolute. You can usually go back in some form or another, and maybe even a better version if you quit and regret it. So don’t let fear hold you back.

Happy Quitting, friends. I hope it brings you as much peace and JOY as it is bringing me. Think of how happy we will all be with all those weights lifted from our lives!

Joyfully yours,

 

 

 

What if?

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There have been so many years that I have created a laundry list of goals, intentions, and plans to start the new year. I’ve hit the ground running with intensity and focus. And I am not saying that I don’t have goals for the year, or at least that I will. But I am still fleshing them out, I think. I am taking my time deciding what I want for 2017. I am not putting a time limit or pesky deadline on myself. I have so many deadlines already in life, so this year I am being kind to myself. Staying peaceful and relaxed. And this cool state of mind has me wondering…

What if I only had 2 goals for this whole year, 1. Finding JOY and 2. Loving myself more? What would happen?

It’s simple, its profound. And I have a strong feeling way deep down in my gut that it might just change everything.

What do you think? Are you ready to simplify to succeed? Let’s continue this conversation in the comments.

Joyfully yours,

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I Love a Snow Day!

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Oh how I love a snow day! I think I wish for them as much as my 6th grader. There is something about having permission to stay in your PJ’s all day, even if you are working from home instead of playing outside that makes the day magical.

snow-day

A warm bowl of homemade veggie soup, several hot cups of tea, my daughter cuddled up by my side and some snow-filled doggie kisses make working from my laptop when it’s 15 degrees outside just about perfect. Yes, yesterday was my first JOY post for the year, but today couldn’t be more filled with JOY if I tried.img_0650Happy Snow Day from Beckett and Izzy, too!

Joyfully yours,

Tobi-Signature

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy 2017

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Hi Friends! I hope your new year is off to a great start. I am enjoying rest and relaxation (and planning and goal setting) with my family for one more day before we hit the ground running with our intentions for this exciting new year. So as I focus today on my priorities and goals for this year, I hope you are doing the same.

At the moment, my girl and I are off to get massages. How’s that for priorities? Self-care and wellness will definitely be a big part of my 2017.

I’ll see you back here tomorrow with my word of the year and it’s a GREAT one so don’t miss it.

xo,

Tobi-Signature

 

 

 

Spring Shopping Ideas

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Spring Fun

Spring has sprung! Well at least it’s officially here, even if it’s still a little (or a lot) chilly where you live. So even if you aren’t enjoying warm temps and flowers blooming in your area, these Spring-inspired beauties will get you in the mood. And I don’t know about you, but a little retail therapy is always a great idea to ring in a new season.

Happy Spring and Happy Shopping Y’all!

xo,

Tobi-Signature

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  1. Echo Madira Embroidered Square Decorative Pillow– Punch up the color of your spring décor with these cute coral embroidered throw pillows!
  2. Outdoor Greek Key Embroidered Pillow, Sky Blue– Now that winter is finally over, we can start enjoying our outdoor spaces again! Decorative pillows like this classic Greek Key embroidered pillow can bring your indoor style outside!
  3. AERIN Gardenia Rattan Body Cream– This moisturizing body cream blends florals with a rich amber to create a scent with the perfect spring feeling even if it is still a little chilly outside!
  4. Emile Henry Ruffled Pie Dish– You all know my daughter and I love baking! Maybe it is time we bake a pie in this lovely yellow ruffled pie dish!
  5. kate spade new york Ballpoint Pen– Use a cute orange and pink pen with gold accents to take down all of your spring to dos!
  6. ‘Mini Motif’ Oven Mitt & Potholder– Love this pair of potholder and oven mitt with a cute floral motif in apricot! Many wouldn’t believe it, but orange is actually my favorite color!
  7. Regina Andrew Ceramic Quatrefoil Lamp– Brighten up your home this spring with this fun blue and white ceramic lamp, complete with quatrefoil design and acrylic base!
  8. Milton Lane Small Lanie– This fabulous mint green purse is the subtle color you were looking to add to your spring wardrobe! The clean lines and perforated leather are elegant and super feminine!
  9. Pickard Color Sheen Dinnerware Collection, Blue Gold– Pull out this gorgeous dinnerware collection for your next dinner party! The gold accents add a glamorous touch, and you can monogram them!
  10. Williams-Sonoma Spring Stamp Cookie Cutter Set– My daughter will need a set of these spring themed cookie cutters for all of her new baking! Cute butterflies, tulips, and bees are perfect for your spring treats!
  11. Monogram Metro Watch– How fun is this blush and gold Kate Spade watch with a monogram? Personalize this timepiece as a great gift for your best friend, or yourself!
  12. Classic Nylon International Carry-On– Pack for your spring fling get away with this bright watercolor floral carry on piece! A great addition to any luggage set, this piece could travel easily as your carry-on to Paris or your weekend bag for Memorial Day!
  13. Deandra Cat-Eye Sunglasses– Spring is here and the sun is out! These fabulous mint green cat-eye sunglasses are sure to add some personality to your spring wardrobe!
  14. Born to Fly Idiom Bangle I love this multi colored gold plated and enamel bracelet with a great spring message inside!
  15. All That Glitters Cocktail Ring– A bold white and gold cocktail ring looks great from daytime to night for a fab spring Soiree!
  16. Marc Jacobs Daisy Eau So Fresh Blush– A fun and fruity scent with hints of pink grapefruit and rose! Even the pink bottle topped with flowers would be lovely spring décor!
  17. All in Good Taste Tea Kettle– There’s nothing quite like relaxing on the back porch or cozied up reading a good book with the perfect cup of tea! The fresh color of this kettle will make your beverage seem extra spring-like.
  18. Floral Large Spiral Notebook– Jot down everything you need for spring cleaning, your new garden, or your must-have new wardrobe pieces in this beautiful floral notebook!